Musical dogs.

I was away for a week at the beach. Just three days after Sailor arrived, the lady from the greyhound adoption program left a message on my home phone saying she needed him back straight away because a potential adopter wanted a dog for her son's birthday which was the next day or something. She also said the adopter wanted to 'foster' Sailor for a week before officially adopting.

Now let's see. Someone wants a dog sight unseen immediately because it's for someone's birthday. That's wrong for a start. You adopt a dog for the dog not because it's someone's birthday.

Secondly, she wants to adopt, but 'foster' first? That means she wants the dog on seven days free approval. Forget it, sister. That's not how you adopt anything, animal or human.

After checking my home messages, I called the GAP lady back, telling her I'd be at the beach until the end of the week. She sounded a little frazzled and had to hang up suddenly, said there were people waiting to see her.

She called back later apologising for being gruff; said she'd put the potential adopter off until next week. Maybe she found another dog for the birthday boy.

OK, it must be a difficult job, placing the right dog with the right home. There's only so many questions you can ask people when they say 'Well, I want a dog that goes with the furniture, doesn't ever bark and is guaranteed not to dig, pee accidentally in the house or attack the neighbour's cat'. When I was at the greyhound kennels a few weeks ago there was a 'return' standing sadly in one of the cages - an adopted dog the adopters had later decided they didn't want after all.

There was a further case the week before, but instead of returning the dog to the adoption program, the owners had turned it in to a shelter. Its picture was published in the Herald Sun which is the only reason it wasn't put down. Someone saw the picture and took in the dog.

In my former profession they said 'Never work with children or animals'.

That's crap. Never work with stupid adult humans would be closer.