What dogs do when you're not there.

There are these things called 'hides' that bird-watchers use to observe birds, secretly.

If there was such a thing to watch dogs, here's what you'd see, using Goldie, my Brittany, as an example:

Wake. (The dog bed - an old couch - is in the double garage. The dog's bedroom is bigger than my own.)

Stretch. Walk out of garage door. Sniff the air. Decide to go back in again. Jump on couch. Do three turns. Flop down hard. Decide to come out again. Sniff the air.

Walk to the lawn in that will-I-or-won't-I manner. Flop down hard. Start panting in the morning sunshine. Close eyes half-shut, enjoying the sun. Roll onto side. Fall asleep.

Wake. Stand up jerkily. Trot around to back door to see if it will open. It won't.

Trot back to lawn. Sniff about for yesterday's bone. Find it and chew busily for a few minutes. Pick it up and carry it to a new part of the lawn. Chew it some more.

Drop it suddenly as if it is the most boring thing she has ever tasted. Walk to water bowl. Drink, slurping it everywhere. Turn around to look at clothes line. Go to bed.

(Later)

Bark furiously at bone, still on lawn where she dropped it this morning, until blowflies buzz off. Pick up bone. Carry it to new part of lawn. Drop it. Walk away.

Flop down heavily on lawn in south east facing position providing best view of next door's fence, on which next door's cat often appears. Pant while regarding fence, head moving slightly back and forward. Eyes half shut again. Get up, walk behind apricot tree, pee while awkwardly moving herself forward with front legs as if trying to water as much lawn as possible.

Back to cat observation point. Cat appears. Gallop furiously to fence. Set up such a barking as you've never heard before, with plenty of deep throaty notes. A kind of elongated growl bark. RRRRRRRR-OW! RROW! RROW-RROW! RROW-RROW-RROW! RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW! RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW! RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW-RROW!

You get the picture. She starts with one and adds on one extra RROW until she reaches about maybe twelve, then she goes back to one again.

I didn't know dogs could count.

Then she goes back to bed. Three turns. Flops down hard.